Ayanami
by Rommel
Summary: A short fic about Rei Ayanami. Very compeling and touching. Enjoy! BTW: I'm working on a sequel for those who wanted it!


Ayanami.  
  
By: E. Rommel  
  
  
  
  
  
  
OK, here's a short fic for all those Rei-oholics out there (just like me!) This is rather short but compelling and very touching. Also keep in mind that this happens just before Rei goes into the fight with the Sixteenth Angel in which she sacrificed herself to protect Shinji. I hope you enjoy it.  
  
  
  
  
The sun shone brightly, illuminating the clear morning sky with its rays. The bird's song seemed to mingle with a cacophony of sounds emanating from the awakening city. Like a synchronized orchestra playing an energized waltz. Outside people walked, or drove, or rode the trains to their jobs.  
None of this interested Rei Ayanami, of course. For her it did not matter what happened on the outside world. She woke up early in the morning and showered, then she began slipping into the only clothes she owned: her school uniform. She had buttoned her shirt half way up when the doorbell ran. Rei did not bother to put on her skirt and went to attend the door as she was, dressed only in white panties and with her shirt halfway open.  
  
Shinji Ikari blushed when the door opened. He had seen Rei naked enough times to be comfortable with her body, but he would never get used to the lack of self-consciousness the girl displayed. To him it appeared that Rei simply did not cared if he saw her naked or not. Perhaps it was this willing openness which made him come to her whenever he need someone to talk to. Rei would always listen to him. True she would only occasionally comment, if she commented at all, but it was that which enticed Shinji to seek her. He was comfortable with her. In a way he would never be with anyone else.   
  
He still remembered the first time he saw Rei Ayanami. It seemed like an eternity ago, another life maybe. The memory was so deeply etched in his mind that sometimes he thought he had known Rei forever. She was the kind of girl you just didn't forget. What had first drawn his attention to her were her eyes: a pair of ruby jewels set against the short, blue mane of her hair and accented by the pale skin of her pretty face. To him, Rei Ayanami was indeed a beautiful girl, a pale angel in white gowns. A Goddess of sorts, so far removed from his problems and yet, unlike Misato or Asuka, a welcomed touch of compassion. Rei, the quiet one, was his muse, the center of his thoughts. Rei, the first, was his companion, his friend, perhaps more than a friend. He felt something for her, a feeling that no one else could bring forth in him. Was it love, he wondered? It could certainly be, but, having never been in love before, how would he know it? And Rei, would she feel anything for him?   
  
"Ikari-kun?" Rei raised her eyebrows slightly when she saw him. Something which made her pale face appear as if surprised. Shinji had always loved the way Rei acted around him. He knew that only with him Rei would show the slightest emotion, a mark of their relationship.   
  
"Ayanami," He hesitated. "Can I talk with you?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Many of her classmates described Rei as cold, emotionless, a robot, but Shinji Ikari, Third Child of the Evangelion Project knew better. He had seen her smile. The memory itself was one of his most cherished possessions. It happened just after the fight with the Third Angel, the huge diamond shaped thing with a drill. Rei had been hurt, although not badly, while protecting him and Shinji, upon opening the entry-plug to check on her, had burst into tears of joy.   
  
'Why do you cry?' Rei had asked. She sounded interested, naïve.  
  
'I am happy.' Shinji responded.  
  
'I don't understand. You cry when you are sad, but you also cry when you are happy?' Rei said. 'I don't know what I should do at a time like this.'   
  
'How about smiling?'   
  
Rei's smile had been like a sun. It illuminated the whole entry-plug and lit up her face. Her eyes sparkled. God, she looked like some celestial being of light, too delicate to even touch, too frail to gaze at. It was actually the slightest of grins, but Shinji Ikari had never seen anything sweeter. This was the first time he realized Rei did have emotions, but didn't showed them, not because she was cold, but because she didn't know how. He taught her to smile that day, Shinji knew. Rei had also taught him something that day.  
  
'Why do you pilot Eva?' He had asked on the night before the battle. They were alone sitting aside their Evas, gazing at the quiet night and the silver moon.   
  
'It is my bond.' Rei had answered. Her voice was merely a whisper. Shinji looked intently at her, admiring every curve of her body under the moonlight, committing every detail to memory. Rei, however, did not look at him.  
  
'To my Father?' Shinji had said.  
  
'It's all I have. I was born to pilot Eva, if I didn't pilot it, I would have no purpose. It would be the same as being dead.'   
  
'I don't know why you would do it for my Father. He is a horrible man.'   
  
Rei had not answered. She just gazed quietly into the distance. Shinji needed no answer. He understood then that Rei would gladly give up her life for Gendo Ikari. Shinji could not explain it. Was her faith in his Father so great that she would sacrifice herself? That was her lesson to him. Rei would die for Commander Ikari, because she had faith in him. She believed in him, in his words, his actions. She would die for him because that would give her purpose. Shinji, on the other had, had no such purpose. He piloted Eva because that was expected of him, so he did it to fulfill the expectations of others towards him, not for himself. Rei was different from him, and yet, in this beautiful moment they were both drawn together by the same thing. Shinji had no faith in Eva, but Rei did, with all her heart, so that gave him hope for the future.   
  
'We could die, you know?'   
  
'You wont die. I'll protect you.'  
  
That she had done, with almost criminal disregard for her own life. It had been sad, but Shinji now understood that Rei would also gladly give up her life for him. He hoped that she would never attempt something like that again. He could not bear the thought of losing her. She was too important for him now. She had become the most essential part of his life, a shoulder to lean on, a hand to hold on to, a friend.   
  
Rei stepped aside and allowed him to enter her apartment. The place appeared to have been frozen in time, for not a single thing had changed since the first time he was there: the mail was still spilling out of the inbox and pilling on the floor, the bed was unmade, dirty laundry was sprawled aimlessly everywhere, the garbage bag hung by the nightstand, the blinds, half closed, only allowed a dim illumination.   
  
Shinji sat on the warm bed while Rei continued buttoning her shirt, as if uninterested in what he had to say. Shinji knew better; she would be listening.   
  
"I wanted to thank you." Shinji said, struggling to keep gaze from wandering over Rei's slender body.   
  
Rei finished with her shirt and looked at him. A slight trace of confusion coursed her red eyes.   
  
"For what?" Rei said, softly.  
  
"For saving Asuka." Shinji said. "Thank you, Ayanami."  
  
Rei simply nodded. She slipped into her skirt and sat down on the bed, next to Shinji, to put on her shoes. Rei had a hypnotic effect on Shinji, for he could not take his eyes off her. When she was done, Rei looked back at him.   
  
"Are you happy that she is well?" Rei said.  
  
"I am happy that she is alive, if that's what you mean. She is not well, though." Shinji said.   
  
"Was she hurt?" Rei asked. She did not sound curious, only interested.   
  
"Only her mind."   
  
"Is the mind not as important as the body?"  
  
"I guess."  
  
"The injury of the mind is like that of the body." Rei said.  
  
"It is not fatal. The mind does not kill you."  
  
"Without the mind, the body can not exist. She will recover, but..." Rei said, sitting next to him. She rested her hand gently on top of his. "What about you, Ikari-kun?"  
  
Shinji took her hand. It was soft and delicate. He wondered why Rei was the only person whose touch he welcomed.   
  
Shinji wondered if she could ever love him. Certainly Rei had to be capable of love, but she did not love life, nor did she love Eva. The only one for which she showed some kind of affection was his Father. Maybe Rei loved him. No. Rei didn't love Gendo Ikari. She cared for him, true, just like Gendo Ikari cared for Rei, even more than for his own son. Rei was nothing to him, and yet he was kind to her, understanding. He was a Father and Rei corresponded the affection in kin. Shinji too had been affective with her, and thus he was rewarded with a rare glimpse of her tender side.   
  
Rei leaned forward, giving Shinji an exceptional view of her eyes, red like blood. Shinji did not move away, something he considered strange. Some said that Rei's coldest feature were her eyes, and once Shinji had thought so himself, but now, they seemed to be anything but cold. They appeared warm, comforting, inviting, incredibly human. Rei squeezed his hand tighter in hers.   
  
Shinji could not lie to her. He had to be honest with Rei. She was the only one who would understand him. She was the only one who he was sure would not yell, or insult, or laugh at him. This was his Rei, Shinji though.   
  
"It's been hard, Ayanami. Too many bad things have happened." Shinji said. "Too many."   
  
"Bad things happen for as long as you live, and life is not over." Rei said.  
  
"Sometimes I wish it was." Shinji said.  
  
"You shouldn't think like that. Life is a gift, it goes on even thought you don't want it to. To die is easy, but to live..." Rei trailed of and turned her head towards the window. She stared quietly at the bright sunlight beyond the worn frame and fluttering drapes. An awful silence settled in the small apartment. Shinji suddenly felt uncomfortable. The silence was like a vacuum where nothing existed.   
  
It was then that he heard the alarms blazing in the city and his blood chilled.   
  
Rei stood and walked to the door. Shinji knew what the alarms meant: the Sixteenth Angel. He also knew that only Rei remained to defend Tokyo-3. Shinji wished he could, somehow, prevent her from going, from risking her life. Rei pressed the open switch on the door and, turning slightly towards Shinji, spoke in a cold voice, like that of a ghost.  
  
"Are you coming?"   
  
This was his Rei.   
  
"Ikari-kun?"   
  
"Yes."  
  
This was his Rei.  
  
"Will you be all right?"  
  
"I will, but will you...Rei?"  
  
Rei gave him a smile and leaned on the doorframe. To Shinji this was a moment of perfect beauty. He wished he could burn the image in his brain so that he would never forget it. Rei turned her head and looked away from him, as if trying to capture a lost moment in the empty air. Shinji would have given his soul to know what she was thinking.   
  
Shinji stood and walked towards Rei. He took her hands in his and spoke softly.   
  
"Be careful."  
  
Rei nodded.   
  
"If something happened to you..." Shinji started, but could not finish. The words were too hard for him to say.   
  
Then Rei did something he hadn't expected. She leaned forwards and kissed him gently on the cheek. Shinji blushed. No one had ever kissed him like this. True Asuka HAD kissed him, but that was different. Asuka had been forceful, Rei on the other hand...  
  
Shinji reached up with a hand and brushed it gently against Rei's chin. The girl did not even stir. He wondered again if Rei could love him, but something in the deep crimson eyes answered that question. Yes, she could love him.   
  
"I have to go, Ikari-kun."   
  
'It is my bond.' Rei had said when he asked why she piloted Eva, just before they faced death together. Her bond to what? Not Gendo Ikari, but Shinji. He now understood. Whatever happened, they would share a bond: Eva. Shinji Ikari, faced with Rei's gentle smile, had never felt this close to another human being.  
  
This was his Rei!!!   
  
  
  
  
  
THE END.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
